The Veterans and current enlisted are the reasons we have the freedoms that we do. They deserve that recognition. They defend our rights and our safety every single day.
I've already read through the comments, since I don't want to repeat what's already said. So, I see people either love it, or hate it. Now, I'm not going either way, because it's a poem. They express feelings and feelings are never right or wrong. They just are.
The titel is clear, perhaps even to clear. Everybody who doesn't like war-related themes won't read it, but this might have been intentional.
The theme of the poem is pretty clear too, you are thanking the soldiers who fight for 'your' country. I like it that you keep it universal, not favoring any one country.
There is also a certain mantra in the sentences. However, not all sentences fall within the mantra like this one: You possess courage I'll never have. It has another rhythm then the other lines. If you read it out loud I'm sure you can hear it too.
Personally, I'm also missing a climax. You could shorten this to only 4 lines or extend it to 40, and still have the same effect.
Now, I'm not going either way, because it's a poem. They express feelings and feelings are never right or wrong. They just are.
The titel is clear, perhaps even to clear. Everybody who doesn't like war-related themes won't read it, but this might have been intentional.
The theme of the poem is pretty clear too, you are thanking the soldiers who fight for 'your' country. I like it that you keep it universal, not favoring any one country.
There is also a certain mantra in the sentences. However, not all sentences fall within the mantra like this one:
You possess courage I'll never have.
It has another rhythm then the other lines. If you read it out loud I'm sure you can hear it too.
Personally, I'm also missing a climax. You could shorten this to only 4 lines or extend it to 40, and still have the same effect.
I hope this helps you in the future
~cee